Spider Season

Dear Spiders,

I hate you. That's right, I said it. Is the outside world not big enough for you that you think you need to come inside our house and then congregate in my bedroom or, even better, the shower? Listen. I know it's hot outside. I know the sun probably beats down on your little exoskeletons and you just want to escape for a few hours into a nice, shady, air-conditioned space. But PLEASE, be considerate! I have feelings too. The way you kind of jerk as you walk across my ceiling frightens me. And I can't stand the way you jump right before I attempt to crush you. Seriously, my poor father is tired of hearing my screams. The next time I find one of you on my ceiling, or hiding in one of the folds of the shower curtain, or climbing up my bedroom wall...well, let's just say you've been warned.

With all the loathing I possess,

Celia