The Office

I'm Pam Beasley.  Except I don't work at a paper company and, unfortunately, Jim Halpert doesn't sit on the other side of this desk.  But I am in charge of the candy jar!

The Quote Wall

Apartments really aren't complete without a quote wall.  The year-long record of a set of roommates/friends' moments of shear brilliance or just plain stupidity (for we all know that quote walls can only be filled with these two extremes) is a testament to how much fun and laughter the group has enjoyed that year.  I don't know what it is about the late hours of the day that makes us all say strange things but these sentences always tend to burst from our mouths past the fateful hour of 11:00 PM.  As soon as one of these phrases is said, at least one girl in the apartment manages to rise between fits of laughter, run to the quote wall, and write down the sentence that caused the frenzy.

Throughout my five years in Provo, I've both heard and said some crazy, thoughtless things that made it onto the quote wall.  If I went all the way back to my freshmen year, this list would be far too long so I've decided to record some of the best ones I remember from the last couple of years.  They probably aren't that funny to anyone who didn't experience them first-hand but, trust me, they were funny once.

• (When Jaden wanted to borrow one of Jen's DVDs), Jen: "If you scratch it, I will scratch your face."
• Celia:  "Let me go put some pants on."  Kristin (Greer): "Good.  Public nudity is frowned upon in most societies." (For the record, I was wearing basketball shorts when I made that comment.)
• Rachel: "Do I look like a walking advertisement to you?"
• Celia: "I'm sorry, I just think you're hugging too many people."
•  Jen: "Jaden, please don't lose me on purpose!" Jaden: "Okay, I'll lose you on accident."
• Rhiannon: "It gives them a first-degree burn." Jen: "That's what happens when people touch me."
• Celia: "Don't say that here!  We're in a public place!"
• Rhiannon (to Jen):  "You're scandalous!  I've missed you!"
• Jen: "Celia, I always want to hug you and I don't know why!" Celia: "Well, you always want what you can't have."
• Rachel: "Wait, what?  Pikachu died?" Kristin: "Yep, Ash was in mourning for a week."
• Celia: "Thank you for your time and talents."
• Rhiannon: "My dream will be made MANIFEST!"
• Jen: "Being pregnant hurts." Rhiannon: "Yeah, apparently it's worth it."
• Celia: "That's the nice thing about big hips.  You have more to swing around."
• Rachel: "What crackhead show is this? Sorry, I didn't mean to say crackhead."
• Jen: "She's black and he's hispanic.  That's like too many races in one relationship."
• Robin: "It's like an endless stream of stupid...it's like vomit!"
• Celia: "I haven't had Ben&Jerry's since the last time I had it."

In my last apartment, we didn't have an official quote wall so I took the liberty of writing down some of the quotes in a pad I keep in my purse.  Here they are:

• Trevor: "This food is going to burn through me like Sherman burned through Atlanta."
• Kristin: "I'm going to marry a normal guy so my kids can have a normal childhood."
• (My hometeachers gave me a priesthood blessing in my room), Ryan: I'm in a girl's room.  I should take advantage of this." Celia: "What do you want to take advantage of?"
• Celia: "Seriously, why don't people hang out with us?  We're so much fun!"
• Heidi: "I'm like wearing a horse's butt on my head."
• Kristin: "Heidi...someday, if it weren't against the Word of Wisdom, I'd really like to get you drunk."
• Heidi: "I could be Ginny now. Get me some Harry!  I need me some Harry!"
• Kristin: "I've bombed everything without fail!"
• (A brief synopsis of the movie A Little Princess), Melissa Smith: "Her dad leaves her then her dad dies and then she's like the orphan slave girl and then a lady in the street gives her a flower and calls her a princess."
• Celia: "It's permanent until it goes away."
• (All of these were said during the course of our craft night a few nights ago), Brigitte: "Handmade bows, hand-cut signs...it's just hand-done!"  "We're so innovative!"  "'Free' can be taken a lot of different ways.  You don't want that in your bedroom."

I strongly encourage anyone who does not have a quote wall to get one.  You won't regret it.

The Clock is Ticking

My time in Provo is winding down fast.  It's kind of a mind-boggling feeling to have a five-year chapter of my life come to a close.  When I look back over the last five years, Charles Dickens'  words, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," take on a whole new meaning.  I've experienced moments of great joy but also moments of heartbreak and sorrow.  But that's the college experience, right?

I would like to take a moment to reminisce about some of the finer moments of my college career.  Please excuse my little trip down Memory Lane.

Freshman Year (2007-2008): Oh, Heritage Halls!  I am convinced there was no better place than Penrose 85 to spend my first year of college.  My roommates that year far exceeded my expectations.  Melissa, Shauntelle, Sandee, Caitlin, and Kory pulled me out of my shy little shell and introduced me to the world in more ways than one.  They took me to Wal-Mart for the first time in my life.  I rode in Sandee's convertible with the top down.  I rolled down restricted grassy slopes on campus way passed my bedtime.  I "broke into" the top floor of the SWKT with my FHE brothers.  I "stole" couch cushions from the apartments of most of our ward members with our guy friends.  In all honesty, what didn't I do my freshman year? :)

That one and only time I went to a formal dance on campus.

That time we did a human pyramid and I (stupidly) volunteered to be on the bottom.

That time we dressed up all funky and danced to the closing-time music in the Harold B. Lee Library.

That time we frolicked in the autumn leaves.

That time we sewed cheesy Christmas sweaters for the boys.

That time we wrote a Christmas letter, took a "family" photo, and gave a copy to each of the apartments in our ward.

All those times we played with Sandee's computer which we affectionately called "Mobi."

That time we drove around Provo in Sandee's convertible with the top down.

That time we dressed up to eat at Macaroni Grill.

That time Sandee dislocated her shoulder dancing in the Thanksgiving Point parking lot after Preference.

That one time I got to sing in General Conference with the rest of the BYU Choirs.  No big deal :)

That time at the end of Freshman Year when we got a group together to go eat at IHOP at midnight.

That time we had to say goodbye to "our boys" before they all left on their missions.

Sophomore Year (2008-2009):  We moved over to good ol' University Villa for our sophomore year of college.  Despite the fact that our apartment complex looked like a group of Communist buildings, it was actually a fairly decent and fun place to live.  Sandee went off to study abroad at the Jerusalem Center but our new roommate Julie fit into her place quite nicely.  Our friends from freshman year were all on their missions but we made new friends fairly quickly.  We all had to grow up a little bit that year.  I buckled down into my school work.  Shauntelle got married.  Sandee came back from Jerusalem with a serious boyfriend.  Our new roommate, Ji Yeon, moved in winter semester.  Times and situations were changing but we still managed to have some fun.

That one time...oh wait! One of the many times my Idaho roommates made fun of us Californians :)

That one time we went to Shaunie's bridal shower.

That one time when we decided to make a "Melissa burrito" in the University Villa lounge for Shauntelle's bachelorette party.

That one day in December of 2008 when Shauntelle got married. She was the first in a long line of my roommates to take the plunge.

That time we built a snow fort.

That time we tried to slide down the hill wrapped in garbage bags at Rock Canyon Park.  Our attempt to "garbage-bag sled" was pretty much unsuccessful.

That time we dressed up yet again to go to Macaroni Grill.

That Relief Society activity where we did facials and other girly things.

That time we played games at Kiwanis Park on the first warm day after an especially long winter.

That time we dressed up like hooligans to see Imagine Dragons at the Velour.

Junior Year (2009-2010):  We decided to stay at University Villa for another semester.  Sandee got married just before the beginning of the school year and three of my roommates (Kory, Caitlin, and Julie) were engaged.  Melissa was in London for the Fall.  I spent most of my time buried in my studies, but for the rest of the time I had fun being a third-wheel to Julie and Kyle and trying to be a social member of the ward.  When everyone got married in December, I moved over to another apartment and ward in University Villa to live with my friend Hannah and her roommates Melissa, Kristin, Alyssa, and Jen.  It was awesome to room with another fun set of girls!

That time we had a combined bridal shower for Julie, Caitlin, and Kory.

That time Shaunie and I decided to go cheer Melissa on at the finish line of her half-marathon.

That awesome time when you get a roommate that you just automatically click with :)  Miss you, Jen! (not that you will see this while you're on your mission)

That great semester when there were four of us from the same ward in Women's Chorus.

That one time Bailey came into town on Valentine's Day.

That one time we went out to dinner before Jane left on her mission.

That one time we walked down to McDonalds and were saddened by the fact that the play place was closed.

The first time we bought cupcakes from The Cocoa Bean.

Senior Year (2010-2011):  We all decided to live in The Elms for our senior year.  Since we had to accommodate seven of us, we decided to split into two next-door apartments, W23 and W24.  I roomed with Jen, Kristin, and Alyssa, and acquired two random but awesome roommates, Rhiannon and Rachel.  Rachel and I played volleyball with a group from the ward at the very beginning of the semester and met our friends Cameron and Jaden.  Little did we know that Jaden and Rhiannon would soon hit it off and end up getting married.  I bit off a little more than I could chew that year when it came to schoolwork so I had a few friends in the ward but my social life took place mainly within the walls of my own apartment.  My friends, Russell and Kyle, came back from their missions that year so I spent some time with them as well.  I moved to B32 in The Elms in the Spring of 2011.  My roommates were Alex, Robin, Becca, Melissa, and Kiana.  I went over to A102 pretty much every day that summer and hung out with Jaden, Cameron, and their roommates (Andrew, Kevin, and Bryan).  Before my graduation that August, Alex, Robin, and I had packed in quite a few fun summer adventures.  Senior Year was definitely one of the highlights of my college career.

That one time Rachel decided to join in Jaden and Rhiannon's cuddling session.

One of the many times we attended BYU football games, each taking a swig from the water jug every time we scored.

That time we went to the corn maze and got scared stiff by the guy with the chainsaw.

That time we dressed up as The Incredibles for the Ward Halloween Party.

That time when we were awesome...which was all the time :)

That one time when my roommates found it necessary to cover me in Jen's birthday streamers.

That time we went to Park City during the Sundance Film Festival to see if we could spot any celebrities.

That time when I went to clean the bathrooms on the 3rd floor of the JKB for my custodial job and found this.

The time when our FHE brothers cuddled with Jen to her little heart's content.

That time when Trevor, Jonah, and I decorated the winning cake for a ward activity.

That time when everybody came over to watch YouTube videos...oh wait!  That happened like every day spring term.

One of the many times Robin, Alex, and I went to such places as The Cocoa Bean.

That one time Robin, Alex, Kevin, Cameron, and I hiked Bridal Veil Falls, got lost, and nearly died.  No joke.

Post-Grad Year (2011-2012): I stayed in the same ward but moved over to The Avenues to live with Heidi, Kristin, and Faith.  Post-graduation time was not at all like what I thought it would be.  Basically, I never succeeded in finding a job so I had way too much time on my hands.  My social life pretty much depended on ward activities and whatever my roommates were doing.  Needless to say, life can be fairly boring when you're not in school and everyone else is.  Spring and Summer terms have been really fun, however.  I've been able to hone in on my cherry-pit spitting skills (an event at our ward's Olympics), get killed several times playing Super Smash Brothers, enjoy the fireworks for the two major holidays of the summer here in Utah (Independence Day and Pioneer Day), be ward choir director, read LOTS of books, see lots of movies, and jump over fences illegally while playing Fugitive.  It's definitely been an up-and-down year for me emotionally but it was a good experience.

That time when Shauntelle took roommate pictures for us up at Sundance.

That time we went to Tucanos for Heidi's birthday and Trevor said that memorable sentence, "This food is going to burn through me like Sherman burned through Atlanta."  He then turned to me and said, "I thought you'd like my reference to American history."

That time we went to the midnight showing of The Avengers and Heidi and Kristin both fell asleep.

Those times when we went to BYU Men's Volleyball games!

That time we decorated Easter eggs.  It was the first time I had done so.

That time we went on a camping trip as a ward and went boating on Yuba Lake.

That time when Heidi fell backwards while sliding down the railing.

That time when we had a ward finger painting activity (or foot painting activity depending on who you talk to :).

That one time Heidi, Andrew, Kevin and I took a random road trip to St. George.

That one time I had the opportunity to go see Wicked in Salt Lake.  It was so awesome!

That one time we went to the Manti Temple for a ward temple trip and ate delicious pizza afterwards.

That one time we had a Harry Potter party and everyone was assigned a character.  I was Helena Ravenclaw, the Grey Lady of Ravenclaw Tower.

I've had some great times in Provo.  But alas, my time is short.  I leave this place in a week and a half.  So long, Provo!  It's been real!