Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Quote Wall

Apartments really aren't complete without a quote wall.  The year-long record of a set of roommates/friends' moments of shear brilliance or just plain stupidity (for we all know that quote walls can only be filled with these two extremes) is a testament to how much fun and laughter the group has enjoyed that year.  I don't know what it is about the late hours of the day that makes us all say strange things but these sentences always tend to burst from our mouths past the fateful hour of 11:00 PM.  As soon as one of these phrases is said, at least one girl in the apartment manages to rise between fits of laughter, run to the quote wall, and write down the sentence that caused the frenzy.

Throughout my five years in Provo, I've both heard and said some crazy, thoughtless things that made it onto the quote wall.  If I went all the way back to my freshmen year, this list would be far too long so I've decided to record some of the best ones I remember from the last couple of years.  They probably aren't that funny to anyone who didn't experience them first-hand but, trust me, they were funny once.
  • (When Jaden wanted to borrow one of Jen's DVDs), Jen: "If you scratch it, I will scratch your face."
  • Celia:  "Let me go put some pants on."  Kristin (Greer): "Good.  Public nudity is frowned upon in most societies." (For the record, I was wearing basketball shorts when I made that comment.)
  • Rachel: "Do I look like a walking advertisement to you?"
  • Celia: "I'm sorry, I just think you're hugging too many people."
  •  Jen: "Jaden, please don't lose me on purpose!" Jaden: "Okay, I'll lose you on accident."
  • Rhiannon: "It gives them a first-degree burn." Jen: "That's what happens when people touch me."
  • Celia: "Don't say that here!  We're in a public place!"
  • Rhiannon (to Jen):  "You're scandalous!  I've missed you!"
  • Jen: "Celia, I always want to hug you and I don't know why!" Celia: "Well, you always want what you can't have."
  • Rachel: "Wait, what?  Pikachu died?" Kristin: "Yep, Ash was in mourning for a week."
  • Celia: "Thank you for your time and talents."
  • Rhiannon: "My dream will be made MANIFEST!"
  • Jen: "Being pregnant hurts." Rhiannon: "Yeah, apparently it's worth it."
  • Celia: "That's the nice thing about big hips.  You have more to swing around."
  • Rachel: "What crackhead show is this? Sorry, I didn't mean to say crackhead."
  • Jen: "She's black and he's hispanic.  That's like too many races in one relationship."
  • Robin: "It's like an endless stream of stupid...it's like vomit!"
  • Celia: "I haven't had Ben&Jerry's since the last time I had it."
In my last apartment, we didn't have an official quote wall so I took the liberty of writing down some of the quotes in a pad I keep in my purse.  Here they are:
  • Trevor: "This food is going to burn through me like Sherman burned through Atlanta."
  • Kristin: "I'm going to marry a normal guy so my kids can have a normal childhood."
  • (My hometeachers gave me a priesthood blessing in my room), Ryan: I'm in a girl's room.  I should take advantage of this." Celia: "What do you want to take advantage of?"
  • Celia: "Seriously, why don't people hang out with us?  We're so much fun!"
  • Heidi: "I'm like wearing a horse's butt on my head."
  • Kristin: "Heidi...someday, if it weren't against the Word of Wisdom, I'd really like to get you drunk."
  • Heidi: "I could be Ginny now. Get me some Harry!  I need me some Harry!"
  • Kristin: "I've bombed everything without fail!"
  • (A brief synopsis of the movie A Little Princess), Melissa Smith: "Her dad leaves her then her dad dies and then she's like the orphan slave girl and then a lady in the street gives her a flower and calls her a princess."
  • Celia: "It's permanent until it goes away."
  • (All of these were said during the course of our craft night a few nights ago), Brigitte: "Handmade bows, hand-cut signs...it's just hand-done!"  "We're so innovative!"  "'Free' can be taken a lot of different ways.  You don't want that in your bedroom."
I strongly encourage anyone who does not have a quote wall to get one.  You won't regret it.


Brigitte said...

I'm so honored to be included. That was a totally fun evening!

The Christensens said...

Here is one from tonight: "You are obviously Kiel's mother." And, no, I won't elaborate.